HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH!!!

Wish I could be there!

Have fun...make sure you dad takes you to Swagants for your birthday dinner...

Enjoy the coat...

Love the baptism picture...(kind of a small container they put you in...did they think you were gonna escape or something...haha)

Love you dude!

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo thankful to God that HE that He created you to be a ROWE :) we need all of the coolness we can get! ha...seriously...You are so talented, so loving and such a leader,-I couldn't be more proud!!

Keep seeking Christ in all that you do...Give HIM your best! Happy Birthday Joshua...love you.

Miss You Grandma...

My birthday just wasn't the same without a card from you!

A cool thing...

Oh I forgot to tell you...

...one day while on vacation, I had received a dissapointing email...it didn't crush me...but it deflated me...

anyways...it never fails...never fails that as the days get closer to my birthday, something happens or something is said to challenge my signficance, my self worth, my purpose, my giftings....etc...

My mom jokes and says it's because of her, when she was pregnant with me...but that's a whole other blog...

So Jani and I went shopping.

I go into the dreaded "big girl store" Lane Bryant....other reminder that I have failed yet another year of getting any weight off.

As I walked in,... I prayed. ( I have begun that habit because I am a credit card addict)
So I asked the Lord to help me be wise with my money, and to take away the self pity that I felt as soon as I walked in the door.

I went directly to the back of the store..to the clearance section...going through the shirts...and out pops a shirt into my hand.

The Shirt read...BELOVED ...

That's what God calls us...did you know that ??

I almost burst into tears, instead I started giggling...

He is so good and too funny...who knew HE would minister to me at Lane Bryant...


...and yes...I bought the shirt :)

Sometimes one of the most spiritual things you can do is to take a NAP!
-John Ortberg (the life You've always wanted)

Let me say a huge AMEN to that one!!!!

This past week, I only wished that I would have taken the nap vs pushing through the week.

I admit on Monday morning, October 30th-after driving 12+ hours the day before, returning from Missouri, being emotionally zapped & missing my brother and his family already...I didn't have my armor on(the armor that the Bible refers too)Also needless to say-when I was hit with some emails from people who say "they are in my corner" and "have my back".. that broke my heart, I crumbled a bit...

...I needed to fall to my knees right then and there,...instead I felt like crawling into a corner and staying there...

**on a side note-we truly need to take care of ourselves...emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually...that's where we let our guard down, at least that's when I let my guard down and that's when our armor begins to have holes...Just like a person stranded on a dessert island, your body will get by for a short time without food, but eventually you will need food, something to sustain & nourish the body. We still need nourishment...we need to do something! So even if I don't have time for an of hour devotion & prayer time, or to have time to what I like to call, a duraflame moment( which by the way-doesn't happen THAT often..)...we need to connect to HIM-we need to let HIM into our daily lives. We need HIS word daily-even when we don't 'feel' like it! It is for OUR BENEFIT...

I also had to deal with a little bit of a dissapointment. Again with being tired, my heart ached longer than it would usually do. But when God gives you a dream when you are younger, it's hard to see it continually slip through your fingers...

"Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn"...this verse is a tough one, because sometimes those who are rejoicing are rejoicing for the same reason you might be sad & disappointed. (They are not rejoicing that you are sad, oh you know what I mean...at least I hope you do :)
...That is when you put faith into action...I need to allow God to heal the hurt, & the disappointment. It is in those times when He can whisper and remind me that life is not about me, no matter how many disappointments I face, HE IS in control and knows what is best for me...He is the God of the broken hearted..I will trust HIM with that!
Matthew 6:33 He also tells us to SEEK first HIS kingdom not our agenda's, and all of these things will be added unto you
.Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord.. and He will give you the desires of your heart.
He will give us a new song like it says in Psalms 40:3O.. help me LORD to trust YOU with my dreams,help me LORD, not just believe IN You for my salvation but to believe YOU at Your Word.

I felt like my shelf life expired this day? ever felt like that ?...sour & rotten...and probably should be thrown out...haha

-Around 4pm Steve's mom went into the hospital.
-6:30p.m I was able to see my girls from my accountability group...It was sooooo good to see them, but I still felt in a fog...and didn't feel like myself :( ..sorry girls I will be more fun next time..and more awake! hahaha

Monday was a LONG DAY!

Tuesday-Halloween
-I passed out candy to kids taller than me, that didn't dress up and had pillow-cases for their candy...URGH!

The last 5 years we have spent Halloween with my friend Aaron, watching Michael Myers, and the original Halloween Movie...Miss you my friend...it wasn't the same without you!

*on a side note...3 out of the last 5 years..Steve's mom has been in the hospital on Halloween...(and our anniversary) weird huh?

Wednesday-
Still not catching up on sleep...I so wished I would have stayed in bed that day!!! do you know those days?...My emotions would have been so much more under control.

-Steve's mom gave us a huge scare... HUGE SCARE!
-I had a REALLY rough day at work.,
- my brother called-he missed ME! Usually I am calling him, and telling him how much I miss him...so that got the tears falling...
Josh (my nephew) was being baptized at his chuch in Missouri... I was so sad to have missed that...so sad!
-during worship that night at church-the lyrics to Blessed be the Name-hit me-"You give and take away-you give and take away-my heart will choose to say-Blessed be your Name".
..My heart was breaking, those lyrics rang true for me, in so many different areas of my life..but I needed to worship...whether I felt like it or not. (We can not be ruled by our emotions...) being in His presence is the best thing ever! to get a "God's Eye View of the circumstances"...(Tommy Tenney)

I was able to see the girls sing Shackles! *(Laurel they finally did Shackles!)...I was running out to go up to the hospital, and they prayed with me...( I have such dear people in my life! thanks Carrie)

Drove to the Hospital... whew...hard stuff..

I did receive the quote below at work that same day, that helped me get a good perspective...

"Heaven is not here, it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for."
- Elisabeth Elliot (wife of missionary Jim Elliot-End of the Spear)

And now here it is a week later
...WOW! what time and a good night's sleep will do :) Thank YOU JESUS!

..I have been reminded that if I spent more time exercising instead of on blogspot and myspace, I might get some weight off..(OUCH...that was hard to hear..but so true!-so dear friends...you may be seeing less and less of me out here)

Last Saturday I was able to hang with Kristi K, and began feeling like my normal self :)...thanks darlin'...

Ruth (Steve's mom)is doing better today! Hallelujah! (thanks everyone for your prayers)

I am blessed to sing with Kristi and Nancy tonight! So excited about that!...I haven't sang with Kristi in what feels like a year...how long has it been kiddo??? I don't know...but it's been too LONG! and to do our Hillsong songs...? hee...I love it...and each song is so totally where I am at...don't be surprised, If you hear sniffles in between notes...

Going out with my niece Abby this Friday for my birthday! I can't wait for that~!

I know this blog has been kind of scattered...but that's just where I am at lately...time to go rake some wet leaves!

Be Well

An hour with Josh...the night before I leave....

When I tell you that I love this kid...I LOVE HIM Sooooooooooooo much!!!!! We have such a special bond. So much so...that Steve and I are in their will to get him, should something happen to Steven and Jani...

He is so talented, so tender hearted, a deep thinker, strong willed and so guarded. He's a pastor's kid...and with that comes alot of stress...for him it even drove him to have shinkles! He has his own opinion about life, and wants to make his own decisions about God, Jesus and the Bible. I respect that...he's a leader...not a follower...I know God has something BIG planned for his life.

He has been going through a dark season, which really bums me out that we are so far away from each other. When we get together we talk about everything. I love to make him laugh. We were ready to take a blanket out to the back yard and look at the stars and just talk for hours...when his dad made us go to bed...(hahahahaha) I would love to pick him up from school...go see movies, go to concerts...everything. He said to me on this Saturday, that it only felt like I was 2 years older than him! hahahaaa....He's 13 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We received a phone call, when we were up in Traverse, that Josh accepted Christ on Sunday, October 22 !!

It is so hard to be away from this boy…this young man…my buddy. It’s hard to miss things going on in his life (Games, Gigs, Birthdays, Sunday & Wednesday worship services (He’s now playing with the Adult worship teams/bands-at 13 years old) …and his baptism.

This past Wednesday my brother called to let me know that Josh was getting baptized that night…my heart went in two different directions (funny how it can do that)…I was so happy, excited and proud for him…and then broken hearted (sad) that I would miss it. (I am praying for you Josh…keep pressing in…pressing on…God can handle all of your questions…He lavishly Loves YOU)

Sorry…I got off track from the trip...hee

My final moments with Josh were quick-yet so special. The youth band was leading worship for the main service at Steven’s church. Josh asked if we could come watch him play. But that would get us out way later to come home. (Our intent was to leave at 6a.m)…so you know my heart was breaking-I NEVER get to see him play…however I asked Steve if I could at least go up for the sound check-practice…to watch Josh play. That would only get us out an hour later than planned…. and that was good for Josh, too.

So I drove Josh up to the church. My brother had already warned me that I should probably say good bye to Josh in the car, because it might be hard for Josh to get off of the stage to say good bye to me… (Plus he’s 13 years old, with his high school buddies-it probably wouldn’t be “cool” to come back & say good bye to his aunt)… my brother was worried that I would get my feelings hurt…(he knows me so well – ha, ha)

I stood in the back during practice…so proud of him…wishing, dreaming, and PRAYING for the day that we could be on stage together. He’s so good…I wish you could hear him… (Kristi he is so good !)…he waved at me between songs…(okay I am welling up with tears typing this)… I just love that kid! He’s so good…he follows the worship leader…knowing when to play softer or louder…(Oh and I forgot to tell you that his buddy’s dad passed away that morning. Josh and Steven had been visiting him everyday before he passed-he was 44 years old-Josh was pretty affected by it)…they began to play “OH NO, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm”-by Matt Redman….you could tell Josh was feeling every word. Worship…even during practice, is the sweetest of things.

They finished. I took a deep breath and did my final wave to Josh, expecting a quick wave back. But instead he jumped out from behind the drums, and came down the aisle to get to me…I couldn’t even say anything to him…I just stood there crying (which probably embarrassed him more! Haha) he grabbed me and said” I love you Aunt Stacey…stay out of trouble.”

…I love you Josh…I miss you…

Katlynn with her Uncle Steve...everyday she would look at him, endearingly and say..."I REALLY like you"...it was so precious...

the kids (Josh & Katlynn) only get to see us once a year-so we miss out on having really close relationships with them
:(...

I loved that Katlynn would not rush to say, "I love you" to someone she's been hanging out with for a couple of days out of the year...


p.s. Steve and I celebrated our 11 year wedding anniversary...I got him a card :) he forgot :(.. Jani and Steve made us (& them) a great candle light dinner...Katlynn loved it...I think she thought is was for her and Uncle Steve..hahaha (Happy Anniversary Babe'-Love you)



...I made this one black & white...it was a beautiful sunset (pic didn't turn out)...spent the evening outside playing Bachi Ball...




Finally time with Josh! We were able to hang for 2 hours (with the family) for lunch and shopping. We got him a new coat for his birthday and Christmas (his birthday is November 15 :)....he had an all nighter at church the night before...so he came home and slept for hours...





Downtown KC -shopping :) if you look really hard...you will see Jani behind Josh...I love that girl!

One last shot of us Up North...




*Two sad things for me on this trip was that I didn't get to see Josh until the last day...and I didn't get to see my friend Aaron. The day we were driving down to Missouri, he received a phone call that his best friends dad was passing away. So he was in Nashville...(praying for you Kenni...I am so sorry sweetie)




my bro Steven & Miss Katlynn...and the hat she loved in the store...so of course Aunt Stacey HAD to buy it for her :)







kisses






This is her "gansta" look...hee






Sassy Look....

Up North

Thought I would share some pictures of the trip...I have to break it up into 2 blogs. I have so much to say about life lately...prepare for a novel in the up coming days :)





on the road to Traverse City ...it was raining/snowey...but still beatuiful... I was so happy to get away...can you tell ?? ha ha











...you can't tell, but that is Lake Michigan behind me...










God's Glory...this pictures sums up so much for me right now. Up in Traverse...it would be raining and snowing, but as soon as we would get out of the car-the sun would come out for 10-15 minutes...I just praised HIM for being so good!

...see I told you I was praising HIM :) ...(Steve says I look like I am being held up by a robber)...but if you could see the water, the color of the trees...I was Praising..hee




...I love God's creation...I am so happy near the water...I could watch it all day..






Steve and his castle in Boyne...it was soooooooooooooo cold that day...but so beautiful...