An hour with Josh...the night before I leave....

When I tell you that I love this kid...I LOVE HIM Sooooooooooooo much!!!!! We have such a special bond. So much so...that Steve and I are in their will to get him, should something happen to Steven and Jani...

He is so talented, so tender hearted, a deep thinker, strong willed and so guarded. He's a pastor's kid...and with that comes alot of stress...for him it even drove him to have shinkles! He has his own opinion about life, and wants to make his own decisions about God, Jesus and the Bible. I respect that...he's a leader...not a follower...I know God has something BIG planned for his life.

He has been going through a dark season, which really bums me out that we are so far away from each other. When we get together we talk about everything. I love to make him laugh. We were ready to take a blanket out to the back yard and look at the stars and just talk for hours...when his dad made us go to bed...(hahahahaha) I would love to pick him up from school...go see movies, go to concerts...everything. He said to me on this Saturday, that it only felt like I was 2 years older than him! hahahaaa....He's 13 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We received a phone call, when we were up in Traverse, that Josh accepted Christ on Sunday, October 22 !!

It is so hard to be away from this boy…this young man…my buddy. It’s hard to miss things going on in his life (Games, Gigs, Birthdays, Sunday & Wednesday worship services (He’s now playing with the Adult worship teams/bands-at 13 years old) …and his baptism.

This past Wednesday my brother called to let me know that Josh was getting baptized that night…my heart went in two different directions (funny how it can do that)…I was so happy, excited and proud for him…and then broken hearted (sad) that I would miss it. (I am praying for you Josh…keep pressing in…pressing on…God can handle all of your questions…He lavishly Loves YOU)

Sorry…I got off track from the trip...hee

My final moments with Josh were quick-yet so special. The youth band was leading worship for the main service at Steven’s church. Josh asked if we could come watch him play. But that would get us out way later to come home. (Our intent was to leave at 6a.m)…so you know my heart was breaking-I NEVER get to see him play…however I asked Steve if I could at least go up for the sound check-practice…to watch Josh play. That would only get us out an hour later than planned…. and that was good for Josh, too.

So I drove Josh up to the church. My brother had already warned me that I should probably say good bye to Josh in the car, because it might be hard for Josh to get off of the stage to say good bye to me… (Plus he’s 13 years old, with his high school buddies-it probably wouldn’t be “cool” to come back & say good bye to his aunt)… my brother was worried that I would get my feelings hurt…(he knows me so well – ha, ha)

I stood in the back during practice…so proud of him…wishing, dreaming, and PRAYING for the day that we could be on stage together. He’s so good…I wish you could hear him… (Kristi he is so good !)…he waved at me between songs…(okay I am welling up with tears typing this)… I just love that kid! He’s so good…he follows the worship leader…knowing when to play softer or louder…(Oh and I forgot to tell you that his buddy’s dad passed away that morning. Josh and Steven had been visiting him everyday before he passed-he was 44 years old-Josh was pretty affected by it)…they began to play “OH NO, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm”-by Matt Redman….you could tell Josh was feeling every word. Worship…even during practice, is the sweetest of things.

They finished. I took a deep breath and did my final wave to Josh, expecting a quick wave back. But instead he jumped out from behind the drums, and came down the aisle to get to me…I couldn’t even say anything to him…I just stood there crying (which probably embarrassed him more! Haha) he grabbed me and said” I love you Aunt Stacey…stay out of trouble.”

…I love you Josh…I miss you…