Lavishly Loved

I'm a simple girl with a huge heart for God, family and friends.

Location: Michigan, United States

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Home for Christmas

It's wild and hard to explain what I am about to say...but for the last 10 years, I have missed 'Christmas'...

I didn't really know how to put into words, until this past weekend, when my friend Bonnie sang the Faith Hill song...

Where are you Christmas... the lyrics say this..

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play
My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too
Where are you Christmas
Do you rememberThe one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

My pastor said some of us, miss the Christmas we used to know...especially if you had good memories. That's it...that's how to describe it...!!!

When my brother & I were kids...My mom and dad decided that Christmas day was a day of rest! going back and forth to peoples one coming over...just my brother, mom, dad and I ...hanging out in comfy clothes,
watching a movie, playing Yatzee or Aggravation and having a good dinner & LOTs of dessert...paper plates for easy clean was just a simple day :)

.....They chose to see all of the other relatives on either Christmas Eve or on the 26th (which is when we would travel down to Kentucky to see my Grandma Tina)...

My memories are so funny. I was even telling my mom about them the other day.

I loved her Christmas tree. I would wrap up in a blanket, next to the heat vent and stare at it for hours. I couldn't wait for it to be dark enough to turn it on...hahaha (and it was a family tradition when we decorated it too...I remember the first time we decorated it without my brother (when he was gone away at college) my mom and I sniffled through ornaments that year...(I still well up with tears...silly, I know)

As we got older we began to open our presents at Midnight (Christmas Eve) would last for hours, (with either Elvis Presley's Christmas or Alabama's Christmas Records playing in the background) Grandma Tina (Rowe) started a tradition of selecting one present to hide in the house. However, the process to find the actual present was unique. You would wrap a present under the tree and leave a riddle...kind of like a treasure would run all over the house, riddle after riddle until AT LAST you would find your most treasured gift. (my brother and I have begun that tradition with his kids now :) My brother and I would read the Christmas story...and then would drive down to see Grandma Tina. I loved being down there at Christmas with her. I wished you could have known her...she was such a HOOT...her sense of humor was out of this world.

Fast forward......after I got married everything changed without question. It was nobody's fault but mine. Christmas day became Steve's family's day...All day to go from a quiet cozy day a house full of people was drastic for me..(still is...) My parents went to Kentucky to see Grandma Tina...but because of my new job, I was unable to ever join them to go to Kentucky.

My brother and I talk about it all of the time. Because Christmas now... is radically different from OUR traditions...and sometimes it just doesn't feel like Christmas....please don't misunderstand brother and I married into GREAT families, that we love & treasure with all of our hearts!
But my brother & fell right into "their" traditions. My mom & dad were just kind of left out there...invited and always welcome but it just isn't the same...sometimes we miss our quiet, intimate Christmas...we miss mom and dad, we miss each other...we miss Kentucky and Grandma Rowe.

I guess I always thought I would some day get back down to Kentucky for one last Christmas with her...

Pastor said..."it's time for you to make YOUR OWN traditions! Make it something special for YOUR household..!" that's what I am praying for...a new tradition for Steve and I ...and someday if we have have a family tradition...or to bring in some of my family traditions....maybe next year...

Below is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman...called Home for Christmas...this is for you Grandma Tina...I can't imagine how Celebrating Christmas with Jesus face to face must be, HOW Glorious!!!!!..I have tears and smiles just thinking about it...I love you.

Her house was where the family gather every Christmas eve
A feast was on the table and gifts were placed beneath the tree
Everything was picture perfect, Grandpa would laugh and say
That woman spends the whole year getting ready for this day

One year the leaves began to fall and her heath began to fade
We moved her to a place were they could watch her night and day
But she kept making place for Christmas from her little room
She told everyone, I'll miss you, but I'll be leaving soon

I'm going home for Christmas, and I'm going home to stay
I'm going home for Christmas and nothing's gonna keep me away
I'll be with the ones I love to celebrate the Savior's birth
This gift will be worth more to me than anything on earth
I'm going home, home for Christmas

All the leaves outside have fallen to be covered by the snow
The family comes with food and gifts, and Grandpa comes alone
There's a sadness in our silence as the Christmas story's read
And with tears, Grandpa reminds us of the words that Grandma said

I'm going home for Christmas, and I'm going home to stay
I'm going home for Christmas and nothing's gonna keep me away
I'll be with the ones I love to celebrate the Savior's birth
This gift will be worth more to me than anything on earth
I'm going home, home for Christmas

As we sing 'Joy to the World' I can't help thinking
Of the joy that's shining in her eyes right now
And though our hearts still ache, we know that as we celebrate
She's singing with the herald angels and heaven's glowing on her face

And now she's home for Christmas, and now she's home to stay
She's home for Christmas and nothing could've kept her away
She'll be face to face with Jesus, as we celebrate His birth
And this gift will be worth more to her than anything on earth
She's home, she's home for Christmas She is home She's home for Christmas


Blogger Kristi Kurtz said...

What a great entry. I know you had to be crying through writing it if I was crying reading it. I never knew this stuff...I am so glad to know this about you...what a special time with your parents and brother that must have been. I miss my brother living here at times like just isnt the same not seeing my sweet brother in his jammies and his wild curly blonde hair sitting by me on the couch taking turns opening gifts. I hope that Christmas becomes more like what you want it. It has to be hard to think to change it and people might be hurt by the change..but I say go for it. I want Christmas to find you again. Love you so much. Thanks again for a great blog to read. Now I need to go to bed..11:48 and I need to get off this laptop. :) haha

11:50 PM  
Blogger Stef said...

I'm so with you, girl.
Even now, as I'm sitting in my mom's house in Nebraska, I'm missing the Christmases of old. Though mine are quite opposite of yours. When I was young, we had EVERYONE together. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.. it was crazy.
Now Chrismases are smaller, and it just doesn't feel like Christmas.
Don't misunderstand, I love my family - big or small - but I really miss having a house full of people.

Maybe it's time for me to start my own traditions, too. :)

12:27 AM  

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