Friends

It's funny how God brings about friendships in our lives. It's wild to retrace how a friendship began.

I've been blessed to have alot of friends in my life. In High School-I hung out with everyone-the jocks, the music kids, the brains,-it didn't matter. I used to get teased because I could hang out with one person one night and then their "enemy" the next night.

I never understood why people just couldn't get along, ya know ? God placed in my heart to see the good in people. Because somewhere down the line-we are all alike, sinners saved by Grace.
Amy Grant wrote a song,

"We are all the same it seems behind the eyes,
Broken promises and dreams, in good disguise
All we're really looking for is somewhere safe & warm
The shelter of each other through the storm"....


But my Senior Year-I was blessed with really good friends. Two in particular-that for whatever reason-just didn't like each other. We even wore those "best friend" pendants-do you remember those?? hahaha However, we started to change, & I began to hold onto to each of them for dear life, becoming the neediest person on the planet....like a little kid squeezing the stuffing out of their teddy bear.

You know the rest right ?


I suffocated them and they ran for dear life (lesson learned-love people with your hands open)...it took years to rebuild one of the relationships. The other girl I just ran into a couple of months ago. We exchanged phone numbers. If God wants that relationship to come back around again...it will happen.

Anyways...After a recent anonymous comment-I've been retracing alot of the friendships in my life.

I have friends that go way back to the College and Career Days at church, when we were all singles (Lori, SheShe, Angie, Liz)...(not praise team members) *Lori-..I was in the delivery room of her first born, sweet Riley Quin-and then through the losses of the other babies)

Some I have met at the jobs I've had-that I treasure with all of my heart, but our paths would probably never crossed had it not been for working together. (My Kathy, Jo Jo & Lisa-NOT EVEN NORTHRIDGE MEMBERS)

I have friends that don't go to church, don't understand the church thing and ministry thing...but I still try to make time for them.

I have sweet friends that are moving to Ohio (Scott & Cheryl) that because of busy schedules/ministries we never had a chance to hang out before they left. I am so thrilled that they have met some beautiful people and a church to call family. (don't we all long for that ? isn't that what the body of Christ is all about-to feel welcome?)

(*now I do have 1 friend that the moment we met-it was as if we had known each other forever--but that's never happened with anyone else-love you bro!)

I have also been blessed to meet & have relationships through the ministries that Steve is involved in. Through Mission Trips, (The Sternfels, The Hammonds, The Dage's) Prayer Partners (The Savede's Family-Gosh I just ADORE you guys) & Ridge Riders...I would have never gotten to know and love them had it not been for Steve..

I do have some incredible relationships with people on Praise Team but not with all of them-but being on stage was & is NEVER a prerequisite for being my friend. The close relationships that I have with people on stage, are the people I've been in a Bible study with, I've traveled with..cried with, laughed with, worshipped with, had Dura Flame moments with & have been on my knees with...off the stage.

The 1 thing in common...we've done LIFE together, we've been through stuff together (poor Shelly went through almost 3 years of me being very sick, finding me a new job, and helping us move into our new home. We NEVER get to hang out :( but it doesn't change the history of our relationship-I love that girl) Kristi and I have done Bible Study after Bible Study together, we've gone to conferences with a group of girls, we've shared parts of our souls with each other....again-we've done life together...Doing Life-the good and the bad ...that's what made each friendship.

Not all of the friendships are alike but I treasure each one. We are all at different life stages.
THAT'S HUGE!!! when I was single-I totally didn't understand my married friends. But now being married I so get it now...:) I can't imagine adding kids to the mix of my busy life...I pray that people will stick with me whenever those days come around...

But I have single friends, married friends, married with children friends...it's learning to respect each other's life stage. I own a house-I have different repsonsiblities than my single friends, my friends who that have children-can't just meet up-they need to get a babysitter or they bring their kids along, etc. And the fact of the matter is ...it's not about ME...

The hard part is making time for all of them.

Over the past several years, it was really wearing on me. I began to feel exhausted, I felt like I was giving everything I had, and it still wasn't enough (at least for some friends). It doesn't help having chronic fatigue and an auto immune problem-that can zap my energy level.

Plus I am a person that loves her alone time...I just do...( yes, even being married)-that's when I can regroup, sleep in, pamper myself, curl up and watch a movie by myself...or have date nights with God...it's where I get filled up again...

Anyways...

During this time I felt very convicted that I was neglecting my time with my husband Steve, my parents (his parents) and my nieces and nephews. (even right now-I know my dad is reading this, ... I know he is shaking his head in agreement saying, "I have to get an appointment to see my own daughter, Stacey"-I love you dad-I'm sorry I don't get over as often as I should-I'm trying to do better)

But then I heard Beth Moore and Sheri Rose Shepherd-begin to explain about sacred relationships. And that everyone can't have first row in your life. (read blog from March for more details) It just doesn't work. I began to spread myself to thin-giving people 50%-70% and coming home and only having 30% to give to my husband. You can't build a marriage on 30% !!!! and then if we have children...the % is going to change again! with everyone!!! I won't be able to just go and hang out with people...

My responsiblity to GOD is my relationship with HIM, and then my Husband!...

Then the Lord began to remind of different scriptures in the Bible and about being a friend.
The Bible says, to show yourself friendly, doesn't mean you have to be everyone's best friend. The Bible say to 'be at peace' with those around you.

Steve showed me a devotional that blew me away. It was the example of Jesus and the disciples.
Jesus had 12 good friends (the disciples)-a crowd of people who loved Him, however He took only 3 up to the Mountain where the transfiguration took place.

I am blessed to attend such a LARGE Church. I love my church family. If you were to look over to the far left of the auditorium you would see me sitting with a variety of people (NOT all ones that I sing with) & as much as I would love to...I can't be best friends with everyone...

My husband Steve & I have huge burdens to get people connected. When they stopped having Sunday School-alot of people fell through the cracks.

Things I've learned.

• Care for people-genuinely (but you can't fix everyone's problems)
• love with your hands open-if you don't you will push people away
• show yourself friendly-pray for God to bring the right people into your life ( where there is a natural give/take to the relationship...not lop sided where one person takes, takes, and takes more and you are left with nothing
• pray protection over your sacred relationships
• NOT everyone can have the front row of your life
• Ultimately-we need to be filled with Christ. HE is the one who is a friend closer than a brother. ONLY HE AND HE ALONE can fill us up-not people. Even the closest of friends will let us down and hurt us (not intentionally but it happens)

This had been kind of weird-having to somewhat 'defend' my relationships or explain who I am. I am still not done..but at this point...this blog has become WAY too long. I have had fun remanissing of the past ;) xoxo

I love you all...even if I am unable to see you for months at a time.

I pray everyday that I am the same person on stage that I am at home, at work, at a restaraunt, at a concert...God calls us to be LIGHT, to reflect HIM...I never want to be a distraction to that.

Be Well