Since I was little, I’ve hated goodbyes. Always have, always will. Drive me past an airport, and I’m a blubbering idiot, that’s just me. For whatever reason God has allowed me to get so close to people, that have eventually moved away. And no matter how many times you say, “things won’t change between us”…they eventually do. It sucks. Life’s hard like that.

As I am faced with watching yet another friend (Aaron) leave…I am reminded of some goodbyes from the past.

I have had many friends, who either due to change of schools, job relocations, or have gotten married & have moved away and not one of them has been easy for me. The hardest goodbye (and one that is still hard to write about) was saying goodbye to my brother, Steven. I will never understand why God moved my brother away,…from me. I understand God moving him away from Michigan, our church, etc…but not me.

I have one of the most incredible relationships with my brother. It’s just the 2 of us. And since I can remember, he has always been my best friend. We did everything together. We were inseparable. (That is until he got his driver’s license. Eventually, I ended up being able to stay out as late as he did, “as long as I was with him” per Mom)

We are not the trendiest of people, but in each other’s eyes, we are the coolest. People might not think we are funny, but we think we are hysterical! We are each other’s biggest fans. We would pray together about everything! -School, our parents, my boyfriends, his girlfriends, etc. He would ALWAYS point me to Christ.

We would go to concert after concert together. We would always get yelled at by someone to “sit down”. Come to think of it…that still happens to me. HaHa.

There are times even now; during a concert I will just cry, missing him. (Silly some might say, but again, that’s me!) I’ve been blessed to have front row seats at concerts and he would have LOVED it. Concerts are just not the same without you, bro.

We are alike in so many ways, yet opposite in others. We tease and say, that we were the ‘Christian’ Donnie & Marie Osmond. LOLOL but it’s true. We are musical. (He’s far better than me) However, when we are together something just happens. God moves in us, and those around us. We could sit for hours, with Steven playing the guitar and he and I singing. (Till this day it’s one the FIRST things we do, when either of us gets together. And now we add my nephew Josh! It’s awesome!) We were a team. I still remember the first time; I sang without him…whew (with tears) that was tough.

It has been quite a journey. He moved away in 1992, and God has done so much in Steven’s life.(and mine) His ministry, his gifts have flourished in ways that could have NEVER happened if he had stayed in Michigan. He now lives in Missouri. (A suburb of Kansas City) We do our best to make it feel like we are not so far away. Calling each other during a concert or sending videos or Cd’s of him teaching, leading worship, etc.

He’s been able to get away and become the person God created him to be. And now he is soaring on wings of eagles. He has written worship songs that are now being done in churches out West. I am so proud of YOU Bro.

Time has taught me a few lessons. As hard as it is to say good bye, I would never want to be selfish and have someone “not leave” when they need to pursue what God has for them. Also…God has plans for me, and sometimes (even though it’s hard to see) needs for me to be alone, to teach, to grow, to stretch.

I am reminded of the verse in Proverbs, that Christ is a friend who is closer than a brother. (That’s huge for me!) Jesus is the one I have learned to draw near to. He is truly the one who is more than enough.

However, I am still grateful for the friends, for the family, …for my brother, that God allows me to do life with.